by
Mike Scinto
Talk Show Host/Columnist
How do we control one of the most emotional, maddening, frightening, life-changing issues that challenges the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution; children taking guns to school to harm or kill other students and/or teachers? Is there an easy answer to that question? Is the answer stronger gun laws as it relates to ownership and background checks? Should we ban guns altogether? Should the age of those buying and owning weapons be raised?
The truth is there’s no easy answer but with each school shooting the battle lines are drawn again, tempers flare and fingers are pointed. I don’t know a single conservative or liberal who isn’t moved to tears with each occurrence of this horrendous new reality in America today.
I’m offering, for your consideration, a point that will also be controversial but one that I feel goes to the very core of the problem. It is also a point that I don’t hear discussed much as a cause, or fix for the ever-increasing frequency of these tragedies.
I believe the problem has its root in the nuclear family. Of course there are some few exceptions but if you look at these cases going back to Columbine, that most would agree was the beginning, these young shooters (or would be shooters) had stockpiles of weapons in their homes, right under the noses of their parents or guardians. Their behavior, questionable Internet activity, gathering of explosives and guns happened right in their homes. When questioned, family members scratch their heads and say their children had isolated themselves, they had been either loners or hanging out with questionable friends and while given curfews and rules, ignored or bent those rules more and more often before launching the attacks.
In the interest of full disclosure I will confess up front that I could best have been categorized as a helicopter parent. Our son didn’t like it. My wife understood but thought I went a bit overboard, but looking at him today I wouldn’t change a thing!
If he said he was going to a friend’s house, I made sure he did. If he was going to the mall or a movie, he’d better be there. If he said he was taking the car and running to the store, the mileage had better check out. I tried to do my monitoring in an inconspicuous way. I’d occasionally be spotted but generally went undetected.
One legitimate argument against my practice was that it didn’t let him develop the understanding of right and wrong on his own. It wasn’t teaching him responsibility. There’s merit to both of those statements. But as I said, I have no regrets. He’s a responsible working man on the same job long-term now and is respected and liked by coworkers and management.
I can tell you without any question he would never have stockpiled weapons, planned attacks or had such critical personality swings that would have gone unnoticed or unchallenged by his mother or me.
I’ve heard folks say they can’t watch their children 24 hours a day or be an around-the-clock nanny for them. I say that’s the very attitude that has brought us to this point today! Besides being a good husband, God put me here to parent, guide, correct and raise our children. It’s not when my job allows, when my golf foursome didn’t have a tee time or as soon as hunting season was over. My job as a parent was 24/7/365 no exceptions.
If more parents had that attitude and goal I believe the frequency of these massacres by children on children would come to a grinding halt, or at least appreciably slow down.
A couple of disclaimers; despite how I may have sounded, we were far from the perfect parents and our son had his share of issues and challenges. And I also understand that what I’m suggesting will likely not happen in America. But I felt like I had to put it out there for consideration.
You see, I believe you can ban all the weapons you want, pass all the stronger gun laws you can create and drill and educate students, teachers and first responders but until parenting becomes our first and foremost priority in life, nothing is going to change.
Please let me know if you agree or disagree at mikescintocolumns@gmail.com.
